Background by Will The Poopie List.

GHOST POOPIE:
  • The kind where you feel the poopie come out, but there is no poopie in the toilet.

  • CLEAN POOPIE:
  • The kind where you poopie it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper.

  • WET POOPIE:
  • � The kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and it still feels unwiped, so you have to put some toilet paper between your butt and your underwear so you won't ruin them with stains.

  • SECOND WAVE POOPIE:
  • � This happens when you're done poopie-ing and you've pulled your pants up to your knees, and you realize that you have to poopie some more.

  • POP-A VEIN-IN-YOUR-FOREHEAD POOPIE:
  • � The kind where you strain so much to get it out, you practically have a stroke.

  • LINCOLN LOG POOPIE:
  • � The kind of poopie that is so huge you're afraid to flush without first breaking it into little pieces with the toilet brush.

  • GASSY POOPIE:
  • � It's so noisy, that everyone within earshot is giggling.

  • DRINKER'S POOPIE:
  • � The kind of poopie you have the morning after a long night of drinking. It's most noticeable trait is the skid marks on the bottom of the toilet.

  • CORN POOPIE:
  • � Self explanatory.

  • GEE-I-WISH-I-COULD-POOPIE POOPIE:
  • � The kind where you want to poopie but all you do is sit on the toilet and fart a few times.

  • SPINAL TAP POOPIE:
  • � That's where it hurts so badly coming out, you'd swear it was leaving you sideways.

  • WET CHEEKS POOPIE (The Power Dump):
  • � The kind that comes out so fast, your butt cheeks get splashed with water.

  • THE DANGLING POOPIE:
  • � This poopie refuses to drop in the toilet even though you are done poopie-ing it.� You just hope that a shake or two will cut it loose.

  • THE SURPRISE POOPIE:
  • � You're not even at the toilet because you are sure you are about to fart,

  • but *oops* --- a poopie!


  • � Ten Simple Rules for Dating My Daughter

  • ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Rule One:

  • If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.

  • Rule Two:

  • You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.

  • Rule Three:

  • I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose his compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object.� However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

  • Rule Four:

  • I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you.� Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

  • Rule Five:

  • It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early."

  • Rule Six:

  • I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.

  • Rule Seven:

  • As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget.� If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating.� My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge.� Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?

  • Rule Eight:

  • The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool.� Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight.� Places where there is darkness.� Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness.� Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped up to her throat.� Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which features chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.

  • Rule Nine:

  • Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe.� If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.� I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.

  • Rule Ten:

  • Be afraid.� Be very afraid.� It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi.� When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside.� The camouflaged face at the window is mine.

  • Hello - Welcome to my little corner of the World Wide Web!!! Background by Will Funny Things / Things Of Interest Did You hear that the energizer bunny has died? He was found at 8.30 one night. The coroner said that he died from sexual exhaustion. On further examination it was found that his duracel batteries had been put in the wrong way round - apparently he just kept coming, coming, coming .................. There will be a link here to casino games.

  • Hello - Welcome to my little corner of the World Wide Web!!! Background by Will " TEXT="#8000ff" LINK="#00ff80" VLINK="#008000" ALINK="#00ff80">
    Background by Will Background by Will Background by WillFavourite links
    Hello - Welcome to my little corner of the World Wide Web!!!
    This cyber-space has been invaded by the one and only

    Will . C, on the

    And because you are all dying to know, I am 18, from !!!England!!!

  • I will be moving my cyber - self in shortly (well, as quickly as I can get collage work out of the way and learn HTML).
    • These are some Words of Wisdom.

    Every man dies, but not every man really lives.
  • It is not the size of the dog in the fight, it is the size of the fight in the dog that matters.
  • 'Try' not, do or do not, there is no 'try'.
  • It is better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.
  • He who gains victory over other men is strong, he who gains victory over himself is all powerful.
  • If your cause is honorable your blade shall strike true.
  • Her kisses left something to be desired, - the rest of her.
  • Pay attention to what a man is, not what he has been.
  • Character is made by many acts, it can be lost by a single act.
  • Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear.
  • He is a fool who cannot get angry, but he is a wise man who will not.
  • You do not love a woman because she is beautiful, but she is beautiful because you love her.
  • Wise men always know more than they tell, but fools tell more than they know.
  • You miss 100 percent of the shots that you do not take.

    My favourite, and the one engraved on my eighteenth birthday present is -
  • Dream as if you'll live forever, Live as if you'll die today.
    • Here is a short list of some of the best lines that Bart has written on the blackboard at the beggining of the simpsons:-
  • I will not yell "fire" in a crowded classroom.
  • I will not encourage others to fly.
  • Organ transplants are best left to the professionals.
  • I will not hide the teachers prozac.
  • My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man.
  • Wedgies are unhealthy for children and other living things.
  • I will not send lard through the mail.
  • I will not prescibe others medication.

    • Dinks Links
    This is a pretty cool links page by my mate Martin who seems to spend most of his life working on it. However it really is quite impressive.


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    This web page has made peoples lives all the more enjoyable.